(3 entries for today. iduncare. its my blog!)

Just minutes ago, i felt as though i could crumble and die.
i really just felt like giving up... i know, it sounds super depressing but its true.

it really is though being a cell mentor.
we're having this christmas carnival this saturday and my cell is supposed to tend a store. i told my girls, like 3 weeks ago, to confrim with me if they can make it. latest before rhema. but no. they didnt. nevermind. this sunday i asked gab(she was the only one who came. the other two didnt inform me they were not coming), she said she may not be able to.


so i didnt sign my cell up for the carnival. i wanted so much to! it'll be the last time we can hang out together, just the 4 of us, before we merge with the sec2,3 and 4s.

and on sunday, we're having this christmas eve party. i sms them on sunday and ask them to reply me asap whether they will be going. but no. no reply. so i smsed again today. still no reply. i couldnt take it any longer, so i smsed again. each, a speciafic message. i mean, must i go to such extremes just to get a reply? just to get a yes/no? okay, ya, i guess its my fault that i sms. i should have called them. i admit. its my fault.

and suddenly i just feel that the entire world doesnt care about me. the continuous chest pains that i have been suffering from ever since sunday. no one seems to care about it. i myself am worried about myself lah! i never have chest pains more than once a day or even a week. and now, suddenly everyday at least 3 times. even during today's match. but i cant say anything can i? i tried, but no one seems to bother. maybe its not so serious afterall. but still, sometimes i wish i could just faint from the horrible pain, just to get my parents attention.
(thanks bestfriend for offering to bring me to the polyclinic... but we'll just see how it goes ya?)

i guess today is just one of the days.
but i believe....